RANT RAV!NGS 2013 - Righting societal atrocities...since 1981.

2007: I am Thankful for This...

This Thanksgiving, what am I thankful for?

Of course, there's the obvious ones:

Family...friends...loved ones.

All of the immaculate blessings bestowed on my life by the Almighty.

But most of all, I am thankful for the gift of urination.

Fred: Consistent Conservative Ad

“I’ve been a conservative my whole life.”

And Fred intends on pimping that consistent conservative record to the American people through the airwaves.

This 60-second ad will run alongside a 30-second version beginning today, both locally in Iowa and nationally on Fox News.

...young sexy teachers?

Gone are the days when the school teacher was a kindly, respected woman of character that broadened intellectual horizons and cultivated young minds -- instead of titillating pre-pubescent loins.

Where were these hot educational hunnies when I was sitting under the learning tree?

While occasionally there was an attractive, well-kept lady in the sea of post-menopausal matrons (whose best days of making whoopee were distant memories at best). We didn't know anything about her private life, nor did we want to.

Odds were greater you would be caught focusing your daydreams on the cute, youthful looks of the girl one desk over from your row (cunningly concocting a strategy to carry her lunch tray in the cafeteria) than trying to romance the 4th grade science teacher.