BREAKING NEWS: McCollister's to California

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE


BATON ROUGE, March 27 /Rant Rav!ngs-Newswire/ - Brian McCollister officially announced today his imminent relocation to the recession-plagued state of California. 

Uprooting his new wife Chipley, the couple will move to the Burbank area beginning April 6th. 

Since at first the move was kept on the "down-low," this seemingly spontaneous, fly-by night action has triggered mixed reactions from both family and friends alike.

"This was kinda sudden to just spring this on us," said one friend. "I mean, California is a lot further than that Orlando thing he did awhile ago. I'm seriously bummed!"

But to others closer to the couple, the move was more than expected. 

After discovering a 10-month long Motion Graphics and Effects program on the web, Brian's interest was piqued.

Following an initial trip to visit Video Symphony (an acclaimed post-production training facility near Hollywood) for an evaluation of the campus quality, the couple embarked on a return visit the week of March 9th, investigating potential employment opportunities for Chipley and making suitable living arrangements.

"It has been a pleasure meeting Brian and Chipley," said Barbara Weintraub, an admissions counselor who has assisted the duo greatly in their preparations for relocation. "I know they will thrive in an outstanding way!"

Most will be shocked by this jarring turn of events, with the news coming like a thief in the night.

"This is ridiculous," said one cousin. "When will he get all of this learning stuff out of his system? It's not cute anymore. He's married now."

When McCollister first broached the idea late last year to his wife Chipley, she was against the move.

"Originally she put her foot down, but she eventually started coming around to the idea," said McCollister. "We went from 'could we?' to 'maybe' to 'all in' over a three month time span."

Though the McCollister's expect to have their faith tested in this brief season, they vow to remain "in the state, not of the state."

But culture shock and reality would set in upon the couple's recent visit, during a stop at a local Wendy's Restaurant.

"We were in a double-lane drive through, which was kinda cool," said McCollister. "While we were waiting for our order, I glanced in my rear-view mirror and saw two guys making out [as if to say] 'Welcome to California!'"

Additional speculation has ensued that the move was premeditated to coincide with the relocation of Late Night talk show host Conan O'Brien in an NBC restructuring of the Tonight Show.

"It's purely coincidental," said McCollister. "The rumors are completely unfounded, although we may occasionally attend a taping."

Now that plans are finalized, the couple has embarked on a farewell tour across three states, spanning six cities including: Baton Rouge, New Orleans, La Place, Jackson, Clinton, and Houston.

"We have so many friends and relatives in our lives, it would be impossible to see everyone before we head out," said McCollister. "We'll be in touch via electronic communications, but if we stop in your area, we'll hang out with you in person."

In spite of uncertainty, Chipley remains positive about the coming months.

"Yes, I will miss my family and my dog," said McCollister's bride. "But hopefully we will have more time to leave for visits than we originally thought."

"Please keep us in your prayers," she added. "Please!"

About the McCollister's

You can follow the McCollister's geographical transplant on their new blog, "Sweet on Chip," coming soon. In the meantime, stay tuned to Rant Rav!ngs for continuing coverage.

Comments

[Glenda Ratcliff]

Well written, I love it, lol. California is awesome. I'm still working on Wes to move us there. We'll be in your area in June. Wes and I are going to Huntington Beach for a week. We plan to catch an LA Angels game while we are there, ( since we saw the Dodgers last time.) You and Chip wouldn't happen to be baseball fans would you?