RANT RAV!NGS 2013 - Righting societal atrocities...since 1981.

The Passion of Dino Rizzo

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." -- Romans 8:1

One year ago this past week, Dino Rizzo suddenly stepped down from his post as Senior Pastor of Healing Place Church amid a sea of controversy and rumors.

Immediate shockwaves were felt throughout 19202 Highland Road, shaking the very DNA of the church body and the surrounding community to the core.

Over the weeks and months that followed, a dejected congregation made its best effort to press on, seemingly without a step lost.

But beneath the surface, there was still an air of sorrow and grieving. Not audibly, but silently, seen in the eyes of smiling members who walked through the halls of the very building their former Pastors tirelessly championed, who were represented by wall murals still hanging hauntingly in the connect foyer.

My Water Just Broke!

For the past week, a notice has been posted at the entrance of our subdivision announcing the water would be cut off on Wednesday (today) from 9am to 12pm.

We all planned accordingly. There's plenty of construction work going around the outside road.

So, I'm taking a late shower @ 8:20 and - to my horror - the water slowly drizzles out (just as I am shampooing).

Blast!

After using a towel to wipe the shampoo out of my hair, I called the Baton Rouge Water Company to file a complaint.

I was put on hold. Probably indefinitely.

Surprisingly the lady came back on and informed me she had checked and said the water had been shut off early because of an emergency...the construction workers BROKE the pipe.

A likely story.

It's not like construction workers EVER break anything or disrupt our lives.

These prison rejects stand on the side of the road not paying any attention, chatting on their cell phones to their baby's mama.

Because it doesn't matter to them.

They walk across the street into oncoming traffic texting, holding stop signs that are askew to traffic.

Not a care.

They huddle on the side of the road, having a pre-lunch-break at 10:13 in the morning.

No doubt planning a jail break.

No care.

Who am I going to complain to about them? Their supervisor?

He doesn't care, either.

They either die in prison or become roadkill on the side of the highway. It doesn't matter.

Nah, couldn't have been them.

A likely story, indeed.

Letting Jacko Go...To Heaven?

It's been about a week since Michael Jackson's "shocking" death.

Come on people.

Did this really surprise anyone?

Maybe the timing of it.

But this guy has been on death row for almost 10 years, and on suicide watch for the last 5.

Failed comeback attempts, babies over balconies, pedophile accusations, increasingly erratic behavior.

As Neverland slowly became no man's land, the magical mystique faded away.

On the day he died, I was fueling up the FJ and heard "Billy Jean" over the loudspeaker.

And I grieved.

Not as a die hard fan, but out of concern for his soul.

Land of the Lost...Money

We saw Land of the Lost this weekend, the new action-adventure-cheesy-comedy-drama starring Will Ferrell.

The movie had its clever moments, and even some impressive visual effects. But these flashes of funny weren't enough to save the movie from its underlying flaws.

In the end I felt like it was a letdown. And a loss of money.

And I guess we were naive in expecting another feel good performance in the spirit of Elf.

But this movie came nothing close to wholesome entertainment.

Pleasantries when Awakened

Following hours of tossing and turning, you've finally found the sleep that so eluded you.

Then, a jarring knock at the door.

Or the irritating ring of a phone.

What's our first instinct after, "Please mercy, leave me be."?

You answer the phone and when asked if you were asleep, you won't admit it.

Them: "Did I disturb you? I'm sorry..."

Us: "No, no. I was just waking up to...go to the bathroom."

Or (if it's not in the middle of the night):

"Actually, my alarm...just went off."

And:

"No, it's fine. I needed to get up. I was almost....done praying anyway."

Why do we feel the need to do this?

What is the obsession with these pleasantries?

Maybe we're just kindly responding with thoughtfulness in the spirit of their "thoughtful" apology.

How about for once, we say what we really feel?

Like, "Yes, your disturbed me, but I'm up now, so what is it?!"

Or, "Sure, I was asleep but then the phone rang and woke me up!"

Instead, of we go out of our way to insure the disturber that their intrusion just happened to coincide with the our planned end of peace?

We pretend to admit that we were just at the point where we'd be open to an interruption.

"No, it's fine. I was just up....washing my face."

Why should we make them feel better about encroaching on our privacy?

We're the one awake when we really want to be left alone.

Horny Quizno's Oven Propositions Web Goers

If the commercials weren't enough to freak you out, now the gay Quizno's oven has become an internet predator.

Enter ToastyTorpedo.com, and you will encounter the toasty tempter (burning with desire to make you the next "Scott)".

Every click of a "Turn Me On" button triggers a new sexually charged request from the eager bun baker:

"I want you to do something."

"We both enjoyed that."

"Ummmm...I'm waiting for it."

"Let's get toasty together."

"Don't be shy."

"Let's toast some Chibata..ummmm."

"Put it in me."

This sick appliance belong on a sex offender list.

Here's another thought. Since sex sells, why didn't Quizno's just make the oven a woman?

The commercial still would not have been appropriate, but it would be inside the confines of "normalcy".

Of course, we live in a society where normalcy is now passe'.

Just ask Miss California.

Quizno's Offensive Homosexual Oven

WARNING: LENGTHY RANT AHEAD

What was Quizno's thinking?

Can someone please explain the thought behind this to me?

I can forget the fact the commercial itself is really bizarre.

But the content is so offensive that I cringe everytime I see it.

And since I consider myself a normal viewer, here's a sample of what runs though my mind when viewing this ad:

OVEN: Scott, I want you to do something.

SCOTT (glances down at crotch): I'm not doing that again. It burned.

OVEN: We both enjoyed that.

So Scott was placing his genitals inside the oven?

TASTELESS: Obama Laughs at Rush Death Joke

What was he thinking?

In case you haven't heard...

There were several conservative character assassinations in a drive-by shooting during the White House Corespondent's Dinner.

Sarah Palin.

Michael Steele.

And Rush Limbaugh.

Always presidential, Obama lapped up the hate as comedian actress-turned-hate-spewer Wanda Sykes expressed hope that Rush Limbaugh's kidneys would fail.

And that Limbaugh was a terrorist on 9/11.

OUTRAGE: Terror in the Skies Over NYC

UPDATE 3/29/09:

Government knew $328,835 photo-op would cause mass panic.

----------------------

Here at Rant Rav!ngs, we have been very critical of President Obama, and rightfully so.

We are committed to commentating on societal attrocities, and his presidency so far has seen plenty.

Now after his first 100 days, we have decided to dial back our coverage, and get back to business as usual.

From now on, only monumental, newsworthy items will be featured here.

But then THIS happens.

This is absolutely unbelievable and inexcusable!

To give New Yorker's a terror-filled flashback of the traumatic 9/11 just for a "photo op" of the Statue of Liberty is absurd.

And now Obama is once again passing the buck.

He's feigning ignorance about the whole ordeal.

Go Black to Be Green?!

Has anyone heard about this Earth Hour stuff?

Apparently, we are supposed to turn off our lights tomorrow night for one hour in an effort to "raise awareness of climate change and promote energy conservation."

So let me get this straight...

A world wide, hour-long blackout is going to remind us about the importance of "going green"?