RANT RAV!NGS 2013 - Righting societal atrocities...since 1981.

A French Fry Dissertation

French fries are like catnip to me.

My stunning physique definitely reflects this fact. I credit my rapidly expanding abdomen and "love handles" entirely on the French.

I've tasted my fair share of fried spuds over time, including the undisputed king (in my book): McDonald's.

Now Raising Cane's runs a close second. Sonic and Dairy Queen are the proverbial runners up.

As for the rest of the field...

"If we leave Iraq, do we lose for good?"

I do not believe foreign policy under Bush has created more terrorists. On the contrary, it has revealed them. -- James Randall

Every once in awhile a sentence comes along, so perfectly structured and full of truth, that it represents feelings inside that you could never accurately verbalize until you read it. The above quote is just one of many that comprise a must-read letter by James Randall to Salon columnist Camille Paglia.

In her response to Randall, Paglia's attempts at making counterpoints are undermined by her lack of understanding of the issues raised in the original letter.

Walmart Rolls Back: Dress Codes?!

Call me crazy, but I'm not so eager to jump on this mid-life makeover that Walmart as embarked on.

Maybe I'm just a traditionalist. But is NOTHING sacred anymore?

Who can honestly say with a straight face that the newer uniforms (sans bright blue vest) will actually make the employees EASIER to spot?

The Problem with McCain

Tonight, during the second debate featuring Republican presidential nominee, moderator Brit Hume posed a question to the ten candidates about a hypothetical terrorist attack on our soil:

Two major shopping malls have been hit, with a third hit heavily rumored. The terrorists responsible have been apprehended at Gitmo for questioning: and they have the specifics on the next attack. With the clock ticking on American lives, how far would you go to the information if you were president?

Hell "Freezes" Over

The 79th Annual Liberal Academy Awards have concluded, and before I begin my rant I would just like to ask one question:

Who ate Al Gore?

Awhile back I came to recognize the Oscars for what they really were: yet another vehicle to promote the liberal Hollywood agenda.

And if you can watch with that perspective actively in mind, you will understand why the award does not always go to the most deserving nominee.

Public Outrage Over New South Park Episode

In a Halloween-themed episode of South Park that aired recently, Satan is holding a costume party in hell when Steve Irwin walks in, complete with an impaled stingray sticking out of the late Croc Hunter's trademark khaki shirt.

Now, according to UK publication the Daily Mall, there is a huge public outrcry ringing through the streets, calling the episode "grossly insensitive."

Phones are ringing off the hooks. Protesters are making their disgust known.

Strange Tales From Festival Bay

This afternoon, I was able to spend some time at the Festival Bay Mall, "a Caribbean-theme complex that features incredible retail establishments" in addition to housing an indoor skatepark and a 20-screen Cinemark Theater. When I came to see Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in  "Gridiron Game" on Friday night, I made a mental note to return this week.

No More Homestyle for Arby's?

Being the big fan of Arby's roast beef sandwiches that I am, adjusting to the menu changes over the last year has been challenging. The #3 Giant Roast Beef combo was discontinued in favor of the new "Small, Medium, or Large" ordering system, and I've had my share of troubles with it.

But imagine my horror when I visited an Orlando location today for lunch, and they informed me that I could no longer request "Homestyle" fries as opposed to "Curly" fries. The counter attendant explained that this was a brand new menu change going into effect everywhere. The only fries they would be serving from now on are the "Curly" style.

Say it ain't so, Joe.

The Redundancy of The Chicken Fries Combo

On Landon Howell's endorsement, I finally tried the new Burger King Chicken Fries. This strange invention is really just a long, thin, chicken tender in the shape of a french fry (with some added spices). But since the marketing gurus at BK are intent on passing them off as a new brand of french fries, I decided to test the theory.

I ordered a Whopper Combo and asked if I could substitute Chicken Fries for the regular fries.